kiaxet: (Life in the Fast Lane)
([personal profile] kiaxet Oct. 10th, 2011 12:35 am)
I. Really fail at this, huh. |D I used to get upset that my flist would disappear to Plurk, and then I got one, and...well. Kettle called the other day, said my name was now Pot, and told me I was looking a little black there.

Life is, per usual, wild. I'm working forty hours and still herding cats to various degrees, and it wears me out, but it's still all very much good. The project that's been driving me absolutely wild is done, so that's definitely a relief.

Last Sunday - only a week ago, but it feels like forever - I headed up to [ profile] orelle_peredhil's wedding. First of all, congrats Orelle! You know you are amazing and he is amazing and you two are amazing together ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Shopping for the bachelorette party was...interesting, the bachelorette party was hilarious and slightly wild by turns, but the wedding was fantastic and beautiful. (The guy setting off fireworks in the field behind the gardens, unintentional as it was, added to that effect.) It was also fantastic seeing people I hadn't seen in a while, especially those who live way far away from me (multiple hours' drive time, basically). There were large amounts of dancing and cake and inside jokes and the reception got a live Rickroll, courtesy of [ profile] jedizero and Jeff (oh, Jeff), who were in turn taking it over from a guest who couldn't be there on account of being in Europe, messing with particle colliders. What this basically sums up to is, congratulations to the bride and groom, and our friends are awesome.

Jumping from one huge event to another, somewhat smaller one, I went to the Ventura Highland Games yesterday with Kristin and another friend. The goal of finding an attractive guy in a kilt went pretty much unfulfilled, as most of the guys in kilts were over 40 or under 18, which is not exactly in our age group. At all. We did, however, get to watch a corgi herd sheep - which is one of the most adorable things I've seen in a very long while - and watch large men in kilts throw logs - the caber toss, which was pretty damn awesome. There was also haggis, and contrary to popular belief, haggis is quite good. The event for the end of the day - folk dancing - wound up being something for the much-older-than-us crowd, so we got in the car and went to Borderline for line dancing instead. I am sunburned and still tired and will likely bypass the Highland Games in favor of the Ren Faire next year, but it was still a ton of fun and well worth doing.

As for every other side project I'm working on - fic, videos, RP, everything - I am in the middle of pretty complete burnout. The upside is, I think I may have figured out why, and it stems from my propensity for to-do lists. I have a list of smaller things to do almost every day, I have a larger monthly one for longer projects (which I am notoriously bad at), and I have an ongoing list of stuff I want to do in general (like work out, start eating healthier, all that fun stuff). Between lists of Things That Need Accomplishing, and that nagging feeling of unproductivity and self-induced guilt when, inevitably, not everything gets done, I think I've forgotten how to just take a day off and relax. Instead of finishing a task and going, "Yay! I am accomplished!" I finish something and go, "Yay! That's done! Now go do all the other things." It's all an unending stream of Things I Have To Do, which eventually makes me not want to do anything at all. I work, I come home, I work out, I take care of all the RL tasks that need to happen, and then I completely waste the rest of the night because I don't want to work on anything else - no video, no writing, no RP, no nothing. It's become "I have to do this" instead of "I want to do this," and when it comes to creative fannish pursuits, that's just stupid and borderline unhealthy.

Sleeping eight hours a night, far-fetched as the idea is, would also help.

So yeah, I pretty much need a day or two to just check the hell out. I'm heading to Colorado on Wednesday, so hopefully that'll be my chance, at least to an extent. For now, I need to go relax somewhere. We'll see how that goes.

From: [identity profile]

I know what you mean. I'm not good at lists, mostly their mental, but still it's gotten pretty bad lately as to what I prioritize and get done. Frankly, I blame burnout from school and the fact that I'm REALLY freaking out about these MA Comps that are quickly approaching. It seems the more I worry there is a counter point that results in me goofing off more. I mean, I am TRYING to study and prepare the best I can for a test that there is really no way to prepare for...but it's hard to motivate myself for ORZ

Not sure if that makes any sense but oh well |D

Also, yeah, sleep...who needs SLEEP. Sleep is lame.
ext_433180: (cid tea = serious business)

From: [identity profile]

Hey, it's a you!

I'm exactly the same with the lists thing, though obviously not quite as dedicated as you- I have a habit of losing mine. XD But I've been there before especially with fandom stuff being more have to than want to, and you're right, there's no point forcing yourself if it's not fun right now.

Kilts are always kind of hit and miss, but they make formal events over here good for a laugh. Unofficial rules dictate at least one guy will always turn up in a kilt. (Of course, if there's two or more, one guy will have a really amazing awesome kilt and all the others will spend the evening looking put out and feeling overshadowed!)

From: [identity profile]

Yeah, I definitely get the idea of guilting yourself over not doing enough. It's really easy for me to turn even fun into "another thing I have to do and am not good enough at," rather than, you know, FUN. It's a silly cycle, and very destructive on top of that.

I tend to be most sane when I'm able to let all that go and live by the motto "Celebrate Progress." Sometimes it feels a little silly going, "Yay, I went grocery shopping and went to the motherf***ing bank like an adult!" or "I applied to one job; good for me!" But the alternative is wallowing in depression and getting even LESS done.

And yes, get some sleep, for goodness' sake.


kiaxet: (Default)

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