Oh jeez

[kiaxet]

For as smart as Pepperdine students are supposed to be, we have a hell of a lot of problems with our email, specifically the difference between the Reply and Reply All buttons.

You can probably see where this is going.

The lady in charge of the IP office sent out a mass email to all students who'd gone overseas last year with a few updates. Okay, cool. Someone from the Buenos Ares program decided to hit Reply All to get ahold of the BA kids about sweatshirts. At the end of the email, she asked people to hit "reply" and not "reply all." Okay, cool.

People start hitting "reply all." Okay, not cool.

So, like last semester, I take it upon myself to impart some good old common sense into the student body.

This is the first draft of the email. Names have been omitted for obvious reasons.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Pepperdine BA program,

It has come to my attention (and likely the attention of everyone on this mailing list) that there is a fundamental error in your knowledge of the various functions of your email. Please allow me to rectify it.

There are two buttons at the top of this message, and indeed any message you receive in your inbox, with the word "Reply" in them. They are "Reply" and "Reply All." The Reply button is situated to the far left and features a purple arrow and a single envelope. The Reply All button is just to the right of the Reply button and features a purple arrow and two envelopes. The functions of the buttons are as follows:

Reply: Sends an email back to the original sender.
Reply All: Sends an email not only to the original sender but to every address on the "To" list.

How does this apply to the situation at hand? Hitting the Reply button to the original email about BA sweatshirts will send your reply solely to [sweatshirt girl], whom I'm certain is happy to hear your response. Hitting the Reply All button will send your response to every single person who attended an international program last year. I cannot vouch for anybody else, but as I have already received and am satisfied with my London sweatshirt I hold no interest in a BA sweatshirt, no matter how awesome the design may be. In addition, in her original email, [sweatshirt girl] has kindly reminded everyone to "be sure to reply only to [her] and not all." May I ask that from now on, all replies are just that (Replies) instead of Reply Alls?

Thank you for your time. I hope this has been an informative lesson. I bid you all good evening and look forward to seeing you all on the 25th.

Sincerely,

[my name]

Not wanting to offend people and figuring patronizing them was not the way to go about that, I wrote a second draft.

Pro tip:

"Reply" sends the email back to [sweatshirt girl].
"Reply All" sends the email back to [sweatshirt girl] and everybody else who was in an international program over the past year.

I can't vouch for anybody else, but I already have and am quite satisfied with my London sweatshirt and therefore have no interest in the BA sweatshirts. I'm sure [sweatshirt girl] would love to know your opinion on the sweatshirts; the rest of us, however, would likely not.

To avoid any further mishaps, please return to the original email from [sweatshirt girl] and use the "Reply" button. Thank you and have a nice evening.

Sincerely,

[my name]

I may be the most sarcastic little English major on campus, but I will zealously defend my rights to life, liberty, and open space in my inbox.

Comments

[sbcpanuru.livejournal.com]

What's sad is that Server Engineering could solve this issue permanently in three minutes by adjusting student and staff email permissions, but the director (as of 13 months ago) was a prick with an ego like a dandelion dipped in liquid nitrogen--it shatters in a stiff breeze. He would interpret any such suggestion as an affront to his manhood, intelligence and competence to hold any kind of job.

That was a funny email, but I probably wouldn't have been as nice. :) Better they get chewed out by some student now than fired when they Reply-To-All a private joke to a couple of corporate vice-presidents.