This seems to be my official Job Hunt icon. Oh hell.

[kiaxet]

I think I've managed to hit exhaustion. It's. Not a fun place to be.

I think what's making me crazy is the lack of schedule in my life. While I was employed, I was getting up at or around the same time every day, going to the same place, and doing the same things. Of course, while I was sleep deprived and bored as hell, it was a routine. I'm discovering I really, really miss that. Interviews are at different times and different distances, requiring different driving times (and a different amount of gas, which is always fun to try to gage), and I never know how long anything will last.

I know, boo-hoo, woe is me, at least I have interviews, et cetera. I get that.

Guys, I am not a spontaneous person. I plan the hell out of just about everything I do. My spontaneity is mostly in the form of "let's go see a movie tonight!" or "I should make cookies today." It's never for the big stuff.

Right now, the utter lack of plan I have for the big stuff is what's getting to me. I wait on interviews and have on idea when or if I'll be called. I'm in for a temp agency (despite the fact that they won't look for positions for me until they can hire me and get all my paperwork filled out, which requires a good long look at the motherf*ckin' boat my Social Security card and another form of ID), and I know temp stuff is never constant. I have two very part time gigs, which I love to death, that both entail meetings at odd hours on odd days. The only constant in my employment situation has been coming home and scouring search engines and job sites for more openings to apply for. That's not exactly a barrel of laughs.

The other downside to this is, I'm home and on the computer a lot. While I'm here, I don't ever let myself really have a break. If I take one to check my email or do tags or whatever, there's always the nagging voice of responsibility going, you should be looking for more jobs! Or drafting the cover letter for that Nintendo job! Or drafting a general cover letter! Or one of any number of other responsible things, really!

This is why I don't freelance; I think I'd go insane if I had to hear that voice all the time. As it is, I don't let myself relax at home, because any time I spend doing that could be spent Getting A Job, You Bum. That's my creative drive shot to hell, right there.

I don't know, guys. I'm tired. That could well be why I'm so blah about things - straight-up sleep deprivation. Dressing up and meeting new people and Smiling All The Time and selling yourself in an attempt to hope the job will buy it is just...tiring.

The strange thing is, I actually had a really good day today. Rifftrax Live with lynxgriffin and amorsinseramada was amazingly hilarious, as expected and appreciated. The final piece of my costume came in today, and I'm picking it up tomorrow. I've been having fun doing a bit of easy tagging with bitty!Terra on dear_mun. Today has not been bad at all. The job hunt just gets me down, I guess. :/

I've been kicking around the idea of starting a blog to chronicle the ups and downs of my job search, actually. It'll get me writing again, it'll be something I can link to people as a sample of my more casual social networking writing, and let's face it, I have seen and applied for some interesting things over the past few weeks.

I dunno, guys. I think I need some sleep and a legitimate weekend off. I know we're hitting up this crazy place tomorrow night, so that's a start. We'll see how this goes.

Comments

[seolearo.livejournal.com]

You could try, idk, setting aside a block of time that's purely for doing job-searchy stuff? I mean, I know you said freelancing would drive you insane, but that's one of the biggest tips professionals give for starting freelancers, to help them stabilize their life a little. Of course, that's assuming you're not already doing that.

[bouncy-erbear.livejournal.com]

I'm like that too. It's why when my family had that crazy spontaneous trip to St. Louis I freaked the fuck out. I like to have PLANS and while little things like SUDDENLY MOVIES is okay, a big thing like that trip really put me in my no-comfort zone.

Still, you're working really hard on finding a job and I'm impressed. There's only so much you can do on that front Kia cause I mean part of it is waiting to hear back and such.

[sbcpanuru.livejournal.com]

Random trivia: they should have given you page 5 of this form and let you decide what document(s) you want to bring in to demonstrate your identity and eligibility for work in the U.S. If you have a current passport, that is enough by itself.

[ghettopeach.livejournal.com]

Point 1: Job searching sucks the hairy, sweaty balls of a monkey. There. I said it on behalf of everyone. If job searching gets you down, congratulations: you have a soul! :-D

Point 2: You HAVE to take time for yourself. HAVE TO. If you spend all your time at your own house feeling like you need to be Doing More (TM), you will be miserable. I guarantee it. It's taken me a while to strike a workable balance between productivity and necessary slacking. (And I do all my work at home, as you know.) But one day, I just realized that there will always be something else I could be doing. Always. And that it is physically impossible to do everything. It's about choices and priorities. Choosing what *NOT* to do is just as important as choosing what *TO* do. Tell yourself, "I am choosing to (whatever it is...write a cover letter, check the job boards, write a thank-you card for an interview, tag an RP, watch Glee, etc.)." And then don't worry about all the things you aren't doing.

Point 3: If you need a schedule, make a schedule. Even if it has to be more flexible, or be arranged on a weekly rather than a daily basis, you'll feel better if you have one. On the upside, once you've "done" everything you need to for that day, you can move on. If you won't listen to your own schedule, have someone else make it for you.

Point 4: You're doing awesome. Don't worry about it.