Somehow, I don't think Kingdom Hearts fanfiction is good for me.
First of all, I tend to read them with intent to spork. I have found very few fics that actually grab and hold my attention and that are Sue-free. I can think of one so far, and that's![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tafkae's fic in progress. (She says there's another good one, but it has KHII spoilers, and seeing as I'm not done yet...yeah.) All the rest have been, without exception, pretty bad. I found a rather promising one today...but then there was a Sue...the plot was interesting, but I really don't want to wade through 53 chapters of Abused Orphan Girl-Sora Sue to find out what happens. And all the pairings the Suethor said she would do...why don't we just have an orgy of canon characters and get it over with already? Jeez.
Secondly, THE SUES. God help us THE SUES. No more on that.
Thirdly and finally, every other fic I find has King Mickey either dead or captured. I'm sorry, you can't do that to King Mickey. The only person who can beat King Mickey in melee combat is God. Maybe Solid Snake on a reeeeeeeeally good day. But a bunch of Shadow Heartless? Like hell, Suethors.
And they always take him out "before he can draw his Keyblade." What manner of bunk is this? Keyblades tend to draw themselves, and instantaneously at that. To attack a Keyblade bearer head-on and get there before he manages to draw his weapon, you'd have to be traveling faster than the speed of light. Especially if the Keyblade bearer in question is King Mickey. Man, if Kingdom Hearts had the Force, he'd be Yoda.
Yes, I know Yoda died. It does not detract from my point. Yoda was not killed by Heartless.
So I need to take a break from sporking, do my homework, and get more sleep. It really doesn't help that the general came to visit today.
And my Office programs went on the fritz. Outlook, Word, Excel...all went boom. Evidently you can only upload the Student-Teacher edition of Office onto 3 computers, and my laptop was the fourth to have our particular version. Once the trial period runs out, you get nothing. I had to shell out nearly $30 to get a new copy.
Which actually isn't bad, considering that copies tend to run anywhere from $80-$130. Our student store struck a deal with Microsoft, and I love them. Both of them.
And the tech guys ROCK. I have a KHII desktop, and the second they saw it...well, evidently they'd just been talking about video games in general and KHII in particular when I walked in. That was one of the best two-hour conversations I've ever had with a random group of guys (and that happens to me more often than you'd think). It also helped that my laptop was custom-made in a room full of self-admitted computer geeks. (They admitted me into their ranks when I wanted to see somebody's laptop taken apart. There was so much dust in the fan...this is why computers overheat so much.) It pretty much cumulated in me promising to e-mail them the contact information of my resident computer genius and one of them promising to give me his barely-used copy of Soul Calibur III.
I like the techies around here. They're fun.
EDIT: After some contemplation, I have decided that Solid Snake could never defeat King Mickey. Chuck Norris, however, may have a chance.
First of all, I tend to read them with intent to spork. I have found very few fics that actually grab and hold my attention and that are Sue-free. I can think of one so far, and that's
tafkae's fic in progress. (She says there's another good one, but it has KHII spoilers, and seeing as I'm not done yet...yeah.) All the rest have been, without exception, pretty bad. I found a rather promising one today...but then there was a Sue...the plot was interesting, but I really don't want to wade through 53 chapters of Abused Orphan Girl-Sora Sue to find out what happens. And all the pairings the Suethor said she would do...why don't we just have an orgy of canon characters and get it over with already? Jeez.Secondly, THE SUES. God help us THE SUES. No more on that.
Thirdly and finally, every other fic I find has King Mickey either dead or captured. I'm sorry, you can't do that to King Mickey. The only person who can beat King Mickey in melee combat is God. Maybe Solid Snake on a reeeeeeeeally good day. But a bunch of Shadow Heartless? Like hell, Suethors.
And they always take him out "before he can draw his Keyblade." What manner of bunk is this? Keyblades tend to draw themselves, and instantaneously at that. To attack a Keyblade bearer head-on and get there before he manages to draw his weapon, you'd have to be traveling faster than the speed of light. Especially if the Keyblade bearer in question is King Mickey. Man, if Kingdom Hearts had the Force, he'd be Yoda.
Yes, I know Yoda died. It does not detract from my point. Yoda was not killed by Heartless.
So I need to take a break from sporking, do my homework, and get more sleep. It really doesn't help that the general came to visit today.
And my Office programs went on the fritz. Outlook, Word, Excel...all went boom. Evidently you can only upload the Student-Teacher edition of Office onto 3 computers, and my laptop was the fourth to have our particular version. Once the trial period runs out, you get nothing. I had to shell out nearly $30 to get a new copy.
Which actually isn't bad, considering that copies tend to run anywhere from $80-$130. Our student store struck a deal with Microsoft, and I love them. Both of them.
And the tech guys ROCK. I have a KHII desktop, and the second they saw it...well, evidently they'd just been talking about video games in general and KHII in particular when I walked in. That was one of the best two-hour conversations I've ever had with a random group of guys (and that happens to me more often than you'd think). It also helped that my laptop was custom-made in a room full of self-admitted computer geeks. (They admitted me into their ranks when I wanted to see somebody's laptop taken apart. There was so much dust in the fan...this is why computers overheat so much.) It pretty much cumulated in me promising to e-mail them the contact information of my resident computer genius and one of them promising to give me his barely-used copy of Soul Calibur III.
I like the techies around here. They're fun.
EDIT: After some contemplation, I have decided that Solid Snake could never defeat King Mickey. Chuck Norris, however, may have a chance.
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