kiaxet | Entries tagged with sporking

So I just got back from seeing New Moon with my friends.

Yes, you read that correctly. I was that desperate to get out of the apartment. It was crazy.

To start, I truly did enjoy the movie. I was in need of a good laugh, and the movie definitely provided one. Best comedy of the year, right there. It also made me feel 110% better about my life, so that was definitely something.

So let's follow the title of the ~~song~~ entry and do this by numbers.

New Moon - Number of:

Times I laughed when a scene wasn't supposed to be funny: Somewhere in the double digits
Audible facepalms: Four
Minutes I was on Team Jacob: About 45
That's What She Said jokes: One, but it was too epic to follow up
Times I nearly burst into song: Four
Muses set off during the movie: Two - J and DEATH
Fursplosions: Three
Dead vampires: One (sadly)
Nostalgia Critic references: One, ongoing
Times Bella tried to commit suicide: Three
Times Bella succeeded: Zero ~~dammit~~
Therapists in Forks, WA: Zero
Hospitals in Forks, WA: Zero
Dollars I spent on this movie: Eleven and a half, not including popcorn
Minutes I thought the movie was actually cool: About fifteen

And because I'm out of numbers, have a plot summary!

( And a spoiler cut, for those of you who care! )

The most interesting part of this is, everyone had chemistry with each other except Edward and Bella. They had none whatsoever. I got bored when they were together. Funny how that works, huh.

I'll admit I had a great time at the movie. I'll proudly add on that it was mostly because I was shamelessly laughing my ass off for most of said movie. I'm waiting for it to hit the dollar theater and/or YouTube and then sitting down and really sporking it with a friend. Anybody up for it? :Db

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: A14 B
Current Music: Don't Stop Me Now - Queen

Tags:

Why do Sarah and I do this to ourselves. Honestly. XD HAVE MORE EBA SPORKING and this time around it is awkward and not quite SFW. Would you believe there is porn in the EBA fandom? *le gasp*

Title:Moments Of Gold
Author: Ruko Hanaji
Rating:

One for hitting every drunken orgy stereotype in the book, one for characterization or lack thereof (I know I have no pedestal to stand on here but come on), one for an orgy that hints at sex and fails to deliver, and one for “inbred cats.” No, seriously.

Full Name: The entire EBA
Full Species: agentus falsus
Hair Color (Including Adjectives): As canon (about the only thing that is)
Eye Color (Including Adjectives): Also as canon (the only other thing that is)
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Excessive libido
Special Possessions (If Any): …excessive libido?

Origin: The local brothel
Connections to Canon Characters: Them as White Court vampires. Or something.
Special Abilities: Excessive. Libido.
Other Annoying Traits: Please don’t make me say it again.

I Say: Well, it’s been a long time since

universejuice and I went a-sporking, so we pulled this sucker out and went at it. Thankfully, it is short and none too explicit. Unfortunately, the spelling and grammar are pretty sound, so there is absolutely no distraction from content. It’s like a laser of WRYYYYYYYYYYYY.

( Let’s talk about sex, baby~ )

...any idea why putting "orange" as a font color produces cyan? Because that to me is just strange.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: A14 B
Current Music: All For You [Acoustic] - Sister Hazel

Tags:

Title: Chieftains dark secret

Author: Nusje

Rating: Two Xs for the incredible OOC that is Chieftain’s characterization, one for the random propositioning that comes from virtually nowhere, and one for a rather failtastic secret. The only things that kept the rating this low are 1) the leniency the author gets for not being a native English speaker and 2) the length. Any longer and we’d give it a “perfect” five.

Full Name:Agents Missy, J, Foxx, Starr, and Chieftain

Full Species: agentus falsus

Hair Color (Including Adjectives): As canon…mostly. But we can’t give away the secret. Oh, no, that would be cheating.

Eye Color (Including Adjectives): Like “small white buttons.” Evidently she’s visited her Other Mother recently.

Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None

Special Possessions (If Any): A broken shower and a rather suspect bag.

Origin: ~~The Netherlands.~~ …the showers?

Connections to Canon Characters: Claim to be them. We’re not buying it.

Special Abilities: Having a threesome in what is presumably a cubicle shower and a large man screaming like a small girl. Somehow, the dancing does not show up in this one, for which we are incredibly grateful.

Other Annoying Traits: …all of them

I Say: Okay, universejuice gave me the sporking bug again, so here we are. It's my first in a long time, her first overall, and our first in the EBA section of the Pit (which is absolutely littered with gems like this, believe you me). I couldn't figure out whether to laugh or cry the first time I read through this one, but we're hoping the sporking will keep the crying to a minimum.

( Are you ready? ...Probably not, but we're doing it anyway )

It's been too long, but I loved this. Gotta do it again, Sarah.

Incidentally, I'd forgotten how much I hate the rich text editor.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: United States, California, Malibu
Current Music: Civilization IV Medley - Video Games Live

Tags:

The best parts of filming interviews at the Twilight release party tonight:

The Edward cosplayer admitting he may well sparkle in daylight
The grown woman calling Edward "ideal boyfriend material" and saying she would want her daughter to date him
The girl who likes vampires better than werewolves because they're "hotter and sparklier"
The girl who, on a vampiric scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Dracula), rated Edward a 2

We've got more, but this video is going to be epic.

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Hero - Mariah Carey

Tags:

I received replies to my two reviews:

( Two of 'em, actually )

As well as a pair of PMs:

( And this is where things get arrogant )

At this point, I gave up.

( My reply: )

Believe it or not, I actually meant all of this. If he'd at least try, then hell yes I'd keep reading and reviewing. As it is, however, I think I'll just sharpen my spork and take notes. Kae, are you up for this?

Current Mood: ambivalent
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Closing Time - Semisonic

Tags:

ONE: Who wants more sporking of the fic? Because the way my talks with the author are going, I'm probably going to do more by the end of the month.

TWO: To anybody with icon skills, I need an icon with the phrase "Falcon Bitchslap" on it. (Alternatively, it could be "FALCON BITCHSLAP" - I don't care so long as it's got the phrase.) Text-only, pictures, whatever, I'd just like an icon with the phrase. I like it a bit too much. XDb

..."Falcon Lawsuit" works too. :D

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Location: Home
Current Music: Hello - David Cook

Tags:

lawl,
sporking

The correct answer is "too long."

Thanks to yesterday's

fandomsecrets post, I found a fic that rather amuses me. It's Super Smash Brothers fic, and...well, see for yourself.

I actually bothered leaving two reviews:

( One at Chapter Eight )

~

( The other at Chapter Fourteen )

The reviews are actually a bit of a challenge: I want to see if the author will respond politely or simply ream me out at the beginning of his next chapter. I'm betting on the reaming. X3

And because I promised Kae it would be done, I'm sporking the sucker, or at least the first chapter. I don't think I can handle doing all 107 of 'em.

Consider this a rating of 4 out of 5, for all the reasons mentioned in above reviews. Keep in mind the above reviews were me trying to be nice. :D;

( Chapter One: In which thinly veiled insults are slung and Luigi is a LOLcat )

I do believe that's more than enough sarcasm for the evening. Anybody want to join me in reading the fic in its entirety? X3

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: Home
Current Music: This Isn't Love - Rockapella

Tags:

Okay, FIRST of all, remind me to never go Pit-diving for sporking material on Tuesday EVER AGAIN. I'm already sleep deprived as it is, and some pretty weird things happened today, to include:

Getting halfway through the final essay on my Rel 102 test, realizing I completely forgot to write about Thessalonians, failing to remember what was in that particular letter, freaking out, not writing about it anyways...and looking at the study guide several hours later to realize we never had to study Thessalonians at all.

Yeah, my whole day was like that.

And we had a streaker in the caf, which was incredibly weird.

BUT YES. PIT-DIVING. Today's victim was Chrno Crusade.

It started with Lost in Time, an incredibly random Yuu Yuu Hakusho crossover that I found a few weeks ago and put on the to-spork list.

I then went back and found What If, some random Rosette/Aion AU of which I'll only ever spork the first half, because pregnancy is not something my Rosette muse can handle.

And finally, I found Kingdom Crusade and Crusade of Hearts, which are Kingdom Hearts I and II respectively with the Chrno Crusade cast. We start out (randomly) with Rosette-Chrno-Azmaria as Sora-Donald-Goofy, and then roles change (randomly) so the cast is as follows (randomly):

Chrno as Sora
Azmaria as Donald
Empty Space as Goofy
Gluttony (FMA) as Pete
The Oracle (?) as Yen Sid
Negi (Negima) as the Good Faeries
Aion as Ansem/Xemnas/Xehanort's Heartless/What-Have-You
Random Cast of OCs as Everybody Else of Importance
Anime Worlds as Disney Worlds
...and Axel as himself

I will be the first to admit that the OC standing in for Hayner threw me for a loop. You can't really blame me, though - his name is Sora.

I'm sorry, but these are just too easy. I have to wonder if the last two will fit under

heartless_fics...guess I'll have to ask

cup_ramen_chaos. :3

Anybody wanna partner up on these?

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: Towers 364

Tags:

To be honest, I didn't honestly ever think I'd end up on the other end of the sporking brush.

But there you have it. Number 9, specifically.

I'll be the first to admit the fic sucked, and the title sucked, and I still can't summarize anything to save my life. XD; There are a few things that I rather like about that particular piece, though, and I don't think she read the fic at all. (Understandable, since it's a summary snarking comm.)

But I like to think I'm a better snarker. :x

Seriously. I honestly think my humor and sarcasm can be a bit more highbrow than hers was, and I don't remember having stage cues to physically harm the author of my sporking fic. This snarker, on the other hand, burned me at the stake.

Which amuses me, for some strange reason. XD;

I'll probably think twice next time I choose sporking material, but this sure as hell won't stop me. :3

Current Mood: amused, with a dash of WTF
Current Location: Towers 364
Current Music: Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo - Tracy Byrd

Tags:

sporking

Ganked from

cup_ramen_chaos, because I couldn't *not* do it. XDb

Which sporking team member are you?

Axel
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Show of hands: who did NOT see that coming? X3

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: Towers 364
Current Music: Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnson

Tags:

I went to a guy friend's room today. He just got his copy of Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, and he wanted to mess with it.

I spent a good 30 minutes on the Character Creator. I discovered that you can't make Axel (no appropriate hair or chakrams), you can't make Xaldin (hair but no lances), and you can't make Lexaeus (killer cleaver but no hair). You can, however, make Saix - just as long as you don't mind fudging hair and weapon a bit and you leave the face scar off.

...I'm so obsessed. It's absolutely creepy how bad this has gotten. ^^;

But now I wanna grab the PS2 version...the directional buttons being connected on the Xbox royally screwed me up and over. That, and PS2 controllers fit my hands more easily. What, me, Sony fangirl? You betcha.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm finally getting around to sporking Flaming Siblings. I'm joint-sporking it with Maxegn and teaching her to spork at the same time. It's quite interesting. For a beginner, she's pretty dang good. ^^

(I'm also trying to convince her to get a LJ, but that's not going as well. I need to be more coercive.)

But that's life at the moment. I'm going to bed now.

Current Mood: Life is good.
Current Location: E. Pengilly
Current Music: None

Tags:

So, just to clear things up from last entry, evidently the after-party wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Everybody smoked and got drunk (Jorja and the volunteers not included) and Liz and co. left early. I guess I really didn't miss all that much.

I don't feel so bad now. ^^

Anyway, I decided I needed some good deep Chrno Crusade fanfiction. Something by Scarred Rose, maybe. So I go to the Chrno Crusade section of the pit and look around.

And I find this.

Aaaaaaaaand yet another one of my fandoms bites the dust.

OH MY HOLY JEEZ IT'S CONTAGIOUS. Why does the badfic spread? WHY?

And the really sad part of this is, I have some serious Chrno Crusade/KHII plotbunnies floating around in my head. Sora, Donald, and Goofy (why can't I write those names in any order other than that anymore?) get dropped into the CC world. (I don't know how. Gummi Ship malfunctions maybe? It'll certainly give the Elder a chance for a good scene or two. Yeah, that sounds good. ~~I swear, the Gummi Ship is the ultimate plot device.~~) Of course, a Heartless problem pops up. (I'm not sure if it happens before or after Sora and co. show up...probably before. Nobodies too - may as well do all of it, huh?) Sora is amazed when he witnesses firsthand that OMG you can kill a Heartless with a Sacred! The Nobodies, however, seem to be immune, and Chrno insists he can't sense any demonic energy in them. This scares the hell out of the Order - how do they fight something like that? Then Sora and the Keyblade show up...

And we need an Organization member screwing up this particular world. I'm thinking Xigbar, because he doesn't really do anything in the game except accuse Sora of being a traitor and get pwned. I have a feeling I should bring Aion in there somewhere, but I think he'd get along with Xemnas better than Xigbar.

Or Saix. I think he'd get along with Saix very well indeed. Maybe I should...

But if I do Saix instead of Xigbar, I won't get to have a Xigbar/Rosette fight. For some reason, the very idea tickles my fancy.

Then again, so does the idea of a Rosette/Axel fight...

Aw, hell, I don't know. All I know is that I have plotbunnies, I feel as though they have been tainted, and I have some serious sporking to do.

~~Because anybody who attempts to Sueify Chrno needs to be punished. Severely.~~

Current Mood: Violated. Just like my fandom.
Current Location: Sporkland
Current Music: White Daisy Passing - Rocky Votolato

Tags:

I got a nice set of four e-mails today. They all came from the pit, and they all told me the same thing: one more new chapter on Ties to the Heart by MegaKiraraLover.

That was my first sporking ever.

The logic holes are just as big and blatant, the grammatical errors are great, and Axel is still having the worst identity crisis I've ever seen. You have no idea how much this amuses me.

I know it's "against tradition" to keep sporking when it's done, but...well...oh, this is totally worth it.

Current Mood: In an abbreviation: LMAO.
Current Location: E. Pengilly
Current Music: Space Cowboy [Yippie-Yi-Yay] - *NSYNC

Tags:

sporking

Satellite transmits my voice

Wake you up from half a world away

Twilight By Numbers

Doing It For the Lulz

When that old spork season comes around

Video killed the internet fandom

Followup on the reviews and sporkings

Two verrah short things, both related to the previous post.

And how long has it been since I've sporked something?

I could not think of the perfect icon, so I just went with the spork.

...Well.

dead from lawl

Geek in a Can Right Here.

Pardon Me While I Go Make Holes in the Wall with My Head.

Made of so much lose it's a win.

Profile

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags